Disappoint
by Camobamo1
Summary: Inspired by the song Disappoint by Assemblage 23. Sonic commits suicide because of pain and sorrow within him. What does Tails think as he remembers his death? A what if for my stories Sonic: Before Heroism and The Two-Tailed Fox.


_Hello, everyone! Here I am with another oneshot! For this one, a song inspired me. It's a song I've known for a while, but it gave me an idea, and I just had to get it down! The song is called _Disappoint_, and it's by _Assemblage 23_. I hope you like the story! A little note before you read on, though. This does happen in my main story continuity, but it is just a what if, and this will not happen in the actual stories. If you haven't read _Sonic: Before Heroism_ and a couple chapters of _The Two-Tailed Fox_, then I would recommend doing so. Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

Disappoint

_Do you believe in the nobility of suicide?  
No._

I'll never forget when this happened… You always seemed so strong. I never imagined you to do something like this, but Eggman… Ugh! Why must that bloated buffoon always do something to irritate me or you? It just doesn't seem fair! I wish you hadn't done this! But you harbored so much sorrow in you… I'm surprised and angry with myself that I didn't see it earlier. All in all, I'm angriest with myself because I _watched_ you do it. I watched you kill yourself, and for what? For what? So that you could just die? I should've stopped you! I really should've!

I remember talking to you earlier that day. You seemed fine. I didn't see anything that Eggman could've used to his advantage, but… I've been wrong before, as much as I hate to admit it.

_Just one more time  
For the sake of sanity  
Tell me why  
Explain the gravity  
That drove you to this  
That brought you to this place  
That pushed you down  
Into the soil's embrace_

I just wish you would've told me about this sooner. It all could've been avoided. I wish you could've told me your reasons _before_ you did it. We could've sat down and talked about it.

_Give me the chance  
I was denied  
To sit and talk with you  
For one last time_

I remember the letter you left me, painstakingly written down onto a little note card. You always hated writing, not because you couldn't, but just because you didn't normally use your hands for that. Your hands preferred action, not little marks left on paper by graphite.

* * *

Dear Tails,

I wish it didn't have to be this way. Really, I do… but Eggman brought something up in me… Something I can't repress anymore… If I don't do something about it, it's just going to eat me up, and I can't let that happen. I'm sorry, little bro. I really am, but this has to end now. I'm sorry… Bye.

Love,  
Sonic

* * *

That letter tore my heart in two… Why didn't you just talk to me about this?

_I can't forget  
Having to see  
The words that knocked the wind  
Right out of me  
It's not enough  
I've come undone  
Trying to find sense  
Where there is none_

I remember going on in a frantic rush to find you before you did something stupid. I just kept wishing that you would have talked to me. I'm your little brother. You can talk to me about anything!

_Just give me peace  
You owe me that  
To help ward off the fears  
I must combat_

I don't even know why, but I'm standing over your dead body right now, begging for an explanation. You can't give me an explanation, though… because you're not here anymore… Then why am I still talking to you? Have I lost all sanity? No, I just need a reason that badly…

_And so I ask  
For one more chance  
To understand  
This senseless circumstance  
Help me to see  
This through your eyes  
The reasons I've been trying  
To surmise_

I guess I can't keep asking you forever… I know I'm not gonna get a reply, so why bother…? I should just leave you alone and go deal with my pain by myself. It's healthier that way. Your pain is done… It's just that you were the closest family member I've ever had. You were like a father and a brother all in one… I wish you hadn't gone…

_Though you are gone  
I am still your son  
And while your pain is over  
Mine has just begun_

I even remember how you killed yourself… I don't want to recall it, but I can't help it… But why did you have to kill yourself using something that you utterly hate? I remember finally finding you at the beach, letting the waves wash over your bare feet. Your feet are never bare, so that immediately told me something was wrong. I asked, and you told me just to get lost. I was hurt. I really was. You said I'd never understand if you were to tell me. How do you know I wouldn't understand? I just wanted to help…

You started to walk into the water. I might have been able to understand your sorrows, but I just can't comprehend the desire to do that. I didn't know why you'd want that. I kept yelling for you to stop, but you wouldn't listen. You finally said my name when you were neck-deep in the water. "Do you believe in the nobility of suicide?" you asked me. I was taken so aback by your question. I could only think of one word to answer you with. "No."

You sighed angrily and started walking again. I tried. I tried so hard to get my legs to move and go rescue you, despite the fact that you wanted so badly to end it, but my legs wouldn't respond. I just collapsed to my knees and started crying as your whole head went under.

_Did I disappoint you?  
Did I let you down?  
Did I stand on shore  
And watch you as you drowned?  
Can you forgive me?  
I never knew  
The pain you carried  
Deep inside of you_

I guess this was meant to be… Whatever it was that caused you such sorrow, it must have really been serious. Wait a second…! In your hand… Is that another letter? I slip the envelope out of your hand, and sure enough, it has my name on the front. I open it, and once again, your handwriting is on the paper.

* * *

My Little Brother, Miles "Tails" Prower,

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about all of this earlier. It was just too painful for me to say aloud. Maybe, if Eggman hadn't mentioned it, it could've stayed hidden until I was ready to talk. You see, my parents died a long time ago. They were murdered by bandits, along with my little brother. After that, I was forced to live with my uncle… My real uncle, not Uncle Paul… His name is Frank… He'd do all sorts of stuff to me… He'd hit me… He'd cut me… He'd call me names… He'd threaten to kill me… Eggman called me a "naïve kid", and it kind of got to me… Frank used to call me stuff like that all the time, including worse words which I'm not going to write down. After that, I just kept getting reminded of stuff. I couldn't get it out of my head. I had to end it, and I'm so sorry for that. I hope you have a good life, little buddy, and please, don't grieve over my death, at least not for too long. Just remember that I'll be watching over you in heaven. Good-bye. I love you, little bro.

Love, Your Big Brother,  
Ogilvie Maurice "Sonic" Hedgehog

* * *

Oh, Sonic! For God's sake, why didn't you just talk to me? This whole thing could've been avoided…! You don't even realize how close you were to me! Your pain is over, but mine's just starting, Sonic…

_Though you are gone  
I am still your son  
And while your pain is over  
Mine has just begun_

* * *

_Well, Sonic sure did have a lot of sorrow plaguing him. This is the shortest story I have ever written, but I still think it was a good one. Anyway, I hope you liked, and please review!_

-Camobamo1


End file.
